The Voices in My Head

Alrighty. The new to-do list is certainly changing the energy in me, as well as our home. I’m hitting about 85% of all of my goals, which is not too bad. Last week’s items that are giving me the most trouble are the 7 Tibetans, mostly because #3 aggravates a shoulder injury caused by ass hat nearly two years ago. It gives me hell every time I do any hard labor. I want it to get better so I’m hoping to find some yoga poses to help fix that.

Tapping is the other trouble spot, mostly because Lil thought we should do it as a family, but the girls lose interest and resort to mischief making, which stirs up a bunch of negative energy essentially voiding out any progress the exercise might have accomplished. I think I will do my tapping alone at night but I am adding a session with the girls in the morning when they are slightly more complacent.

Two weeks of nearly daily vitamins are definitely helping my cognitive function.
Two weeks of nearly daily vitamins are definitely helping my cognitive function.

One of the goals I set last week was to listen to affirmations daily. I am happy to report that it does actually produce positive results. After a few days of listening to David, I actually want to put on my headphones and listen to his encouragement. I now occasionally hear him chiming in about how great life is, cheering me on when my brain might otherwise be worrying about some nonsense during the day.  I’m totally ok sharing some headspace with him and his charming Canadian accent.

On the other hand, not all affirmations are for everyone and if you feel uncomfortable when listening; it might be wise to try something different.  This one made me laugh hysterically. I literally had to turn it off to catch my breath and wipe the tears from my eyes it made me laugh so hard. I think it is because Paul’s voice reminds me of my favorite sociopath, Dan, from Dan Vs. which just adds another layer of funny. He claims it is soul changing, perhaps it is, after one abbreviated listen, I still occasionally hear him declaring his awesomeness which threatens to bring on a fit of giggling madness no matter what my current situation. I’m not sure that is a good thing.

This week, I’ve added daily brainwave training. Don’t knock it, and use as directed people. If you relax a little, some of those programs can bliss you out. Others may make you want to stab yourself in the head with a fork.

I try to avoid those.

I also added daily use of the Subliminator. I love this app because:

  • It runs in the background, even when you are running other programs
  • You can record anything you want to repeat over and over.
  • It has its own volume control.

I recorded several minutes of custom made affirmations which I play in conjunction with my brainwave program but just barely audible because I find the sound of my own voice almost intolerable. The interesting thing is; I find my head popping up the personal messages on the Subliminator more often than the affirmations from David. Which I am taking as a gentle reminder about how important it is to love and respect your own voice and use it to often speak kind words to yourself.

My Flickr feed will confirm that the accumulative effect of all my acquired “habits” is allowing me the mental focus, physical energy, and enough of a positive attitude to tackle some projects I’ve been hoping to get at as the days slip past and I sink deeper into depression. I wonder if it is depression or just a deep and profound understanding of the state of things that leaves me so, so, sad for the fate of mankind. It looks so hopeless. How can one not feel sorrow? It is a choice every day, sometimes every moment to focus on the light even when the darkness seems to be closing in.